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Whenever I want you all I have to do is dream.

January 27, 2011

Usually, when I’m sleeping too late after my alarm has rung, the dreams I have are work related: I am late (which is usually the case IRL) or I have rung up something wrong, or I desperately need to write a reader’s report but something keeps preventing me from getting to the computer or the office. Obstacle dreams, stress dreams, whatever you want to call them.

This morning’s dream was not one of of those.

As I was avoiding getting out of my extremely warm and comfortable tiny bed (yes, it’s a twin, I’m poor, OK? Shut up) I fell into a dream that pretty much defies rational description, and if I knew anything about Jung or Freud or whatever, would probably indicate latent deep-seated sociopathic tendencies. So, here goes: a descriptive list, in no particular order, of the shit that happened in my dream last night.

1. I was on a train, which was also a plane, which was also simultaneously my apartment.

2. I was with a bunch of friends, watching a movie! Now, this doesn’t seem too unusual, except when you consider that the movie I was watching was a streaming copy from the internet that somehow wouldn’t pause, ever, even when I pushed the “stop” button, it just kept going, and to pause it someone had to literally hold a button down, as if they were holding the movie back.

3. The movie we were watching was X-Men: First Class, which is crazy because it doesn’t come out until March, also, why am I dreaming about X-Men movies?

4. In addition to watching this movie streaming in my apartment plane train I was also LIVE TWEETING IT. YES. I was LIVE TWEETING my illegally watched copy of a movie that hasn’t come out yet.

5. My tweets were all about my inability to understand what was actually happening in said film, which, at some point, I actually entered. There were more than a few strange things about this movie, and at some point I clearly remember thinking “Matthew Vaughan, you have cocked this up something fierce.” Some examples:

  • The entire movie taking place in what looked like a old timey swimming pool crossed with an old timey library, placed inside the decaying Detroit train station.
  • Magneto somehow having the aesthetic of a Viking warrior crossed with a 19th century pirate. Think facial hair; think elaborate moustaches; think a giant fur pelt (that at one point actually became a fur poncho.)
  • Magneto’s powers not actually being anything to do with magnets. I forget what he was doing, other than scowling and looking piratical, but it sure as shit wasn’t throwing things around using the force of magnetism. I do remember running away a lot.
  • There was a car chase! on the track outside the library/swimming pool / train station and I was on the track and I could see a giant car coming towards me and a wreck happening and somehow I knew that the Bad Guy was going to emerge from the wreck unscathed and start fucking shit up.
  • At some point I needed to escape the bad guy (and also Mystique, who was kind of helping me? maybe?) and so I was climbing through the floor of the library/swimming pool / train station, which was collapsing all around me

So, obviously all that was bananas. BUT THEN! In the dream, as a direct consequence of my live-tweeting, I got a letter from someone at Warner Brothers (are they even distributing X-Men???) that turned out to be Matthew Vaughan saying “Don’t illegally watch movies!” And that made me not want to see the end of the movie. Which I was also somehow in.
So, yeah. That was my dream. I’m trying to decide if there is some kind of sign in there, other than “never live-tweet anything ever again.” But still. WEIRD.

The real Magneto, who is not a fur poncho-wearing Viking pirate, thanks you for your time.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Dr. Sweetie Pie permalink
    January 27, 2011 5:07 pm

    For a really good writer and smart woman, you are a complete mess:)

  2. January 27, 2011 5:35 pm

    hahah thanks Dr. Sweetie Pie. 🙂 I try.

  3. Shane permalink
    January 29, 2011 6:01 pm

    This dream is clearly the product of a disturbed mind. If I were you I would advise immediate and intensive psychotherapy.

    I often have dreams about weird movies or books (or videogames), however I’m generally in them as a character. Lots of sword and sorcery style dreams lately.

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