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Jen watches Red Dragon and Gchats with Mallory: an (edited) transcript

November 7, 2010

I wrote out an introduction to this conversation that talked about the average person’s TV viewing habits vs. mine and that of my general acquaintance, but then I realized it didn’t make a lot of sense, and I think the conversation is pretty hilarious even if no one but me and Mallory (aka zlot) will get it. This is only part of a much longer conversation about the various manifold merits of Red Dragon and online dating. I also think that one of the reasons that I don’t date much is because I haven’t yet found the guy that I can have the following conversation with:

I’m adiprose, zlot is mallory.

adiprose: “any rational society would kill me, or put me to some use”
zlot: god ilu lecter
adiprose: right?
zlot: red dragon is great
zlot: it’s scarier than sotl
adiprose: definitely
zlot: though nothing beats sotl
adiprose: nothing
zlot: in terms of raw quality
zlot: do you know what you look like to me? you look like a rube
zlot: a well-scrubbed hustling rube with a little taste
adiprose: with some taste
adiprose: with your good bag and your cheap shoes
zlot: good nutrition’s given you some length of bone
adiprose: and oh how quickly the boys found you
adiprose: all those tedious sticky fumblings in the backseats of cars
zlot: but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash
adiprose: and you could only dream of getting out
zlot: what was your father dear was he a coal miner? did he stink of the laaamp?
adiprose: getting anywhere
zlot: getting all the way
zlot: to the f
adiprose: getting all the way to the eff
zlot: b
adiprose: bee
zlot: i
adiprose: aaaaye
zlot: ilu jen
adiprose: some girls quote romantic comedies
lot: NOT US
zlot: <333

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